12 reasons why a top photographer has the easiest job in the world.
1 You have endlessly interesting subjects to photograph. Once you’ve made it to the top, you can forget about having to think up and find interesting subjects to photograph. Someone will actually have the subjects in mind, and all you have to do is photograph them. e.g. we need some nice photos of a super model, I know, let’s contact Top Photographer.
2 The creative director decides on the shoot concept. A super talented person then dreams up a great looking concept. e.g. the client likes lions, lets drape our super model on the back of a lion in a tropical location.
3 The stylist does the clothes, and the subject is dressed like a goddess of fashion, and looks a million dollars.
4 A hair artist does the hair, it’s smooth, silky, and has none of those frizzy bits sticking out.
5 A make up artists does the make up. Blemishes? All destroyed! We will achieve facial perfection and outstandingly smooth skin.
6 The model looks good. This is where you realise that no matter how much you like your mates, and no matter how amazing you are as a photographer, your friends do not have razor sharp jaw lines, and cheek bones with right angles. In fact it’s your friends that have been holding you back. Top photographers only shoot super models and that’s why their photos are amazing every time.
7 The location agency finds the location. Probably Barbados which looks better than Peckham where you usually work.
8 A lighting technician sets up the lighting. It’s all positioned and metered perfectly.
9 The assistant carries, checks and sets up the camera and takes a test shot. As a top photographer you don’t want to be wearing yourself out carrying cameras, you need to retain your creative juices.
10 The photographer walks into the room, adjusts her beret, and presses the shutter. This is the hard bit, obviously.
11 The images are edited by a retouching technician. You’ll be at the bar sipping a Martini, not hunched over a creaking laptop.
12 An agency makes sure everyone gets paid. No hassle over getting people to work for free. Just a large deposit in the bank for all that hard work.
by Andrew Mason